I am usually the friend who reaches out first, and I don't really mind. What are the dynamics in your friendships?

Hello, everyone. I'm curious about other autistic people's experiences with friendships.

If you have friends, which is true for you?

1. I am always/often the friend who reaches out, and this really bothers me.
2. I am always/often the friend who reaches out, and I don't mind.
3. Myself and my friends reach out an equal amount.
4. My friends tend to reach out first, I don't usually reach out first.

I've previously had zero friends, currently I have two, and I've made my peace with typically being the one who reaches out first.

My friends both have much wider social circles than I do, they both work full-time, and one of them is married. I'm not in a relationship and they're my only two friends, so of course I notice gaps in our communication more... and I'm more likely to have capacity to reach out, especially via accessible methods like messaging.

When we do hang out (usually playing games online), we have a great time. We'll all discuss what's going on in our lives, good and bad, and I feel supported when we hang out like this. I also love hearing from them both.

I used to get sad in friendships, when people didn't spontaneously reach out very often, but I don't care as much now. I used to stop reaching out, just to make a point, but all this achieved was making me bitter and isolated.

It helps that, if I do message either of my friends to say I'm struggling, they'll be very supportive. So, I'm okay with how things currently are.

What are your experiences?