My girlfriend (F26) and I (F27) will inevitably break up when our lease ends in a year and I'm trying to cope.

My girlfriend (F26) and I (F27) have been dating for about a year and recently moved in together. Our lease is for a year and next August she will go to grad school - could be in a different state or even a different country. I am struggling because while it hasn't been directly said out loud, there is an understanding between us that when she goes to school I will also move on and do my own thing.

One issue is - I don't know what my 'thing' is. I do have dreams of living in my own place and thinking about it/looking on Zillow makes me very excited. I have a work from home job that I enjoy so I really can go anywhere (within reason and budget).

Another issue is that I would follow her if she wanted me to, but I don't think she does because of the comments she makes. For example we were listening to music and she said "When you are 40 and hear this song I hope you think of me and the time we spent together". Another example there was a lesbian couple on the tv who were divorced and still hanging out and she said "That's gonna be us". I don't want these comments to sting but they do. They just make me sad. I'm not excited for a life without her but it seems like she is just fine with it because of her established views on relationships (included in the next paragraph).

She has always been honest and upfront with how she feels about relationships. She doesn't believe in monogamy for herself and knows that she will have multiple partners throughout her life. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection over the last couple years and don't see myself as necessarily 100% monogamous - but every relationship I've been in has been monogamous, including this one. I was raised Catholic in a conservative household which makes it really hard to unlearn stereotypical relationship norms.

It is confusing to hear her be okay with us having an inevitable end date and also believing her when she says she loves me. But she shows her love really well and I know she cares about me - yet I feel self conscious that she doesn't love me enough to want a future with me. I just can't not be sad about something so good coming to an end. I really love her and I enjoy being with her - I also think she has taught me so much about life and I want to come around to her idea that love is never wasted and I want to feel content with our relationship despite that fact that there is a literal end date.

I feel like I am putting off having a conversation with her about this because I want to enjoy things as they are - but I struggle when she makes comments about a future that we aren't together. I don't want to be too emotional when we talk about it either because I fear her taking that the wrong way and thinking I'm pathetic or something and I'm afraid this will drive her away quicker. I know that I will be okay without her but more than anything it just makes me feel sad that something good is going to end. I want to focus on not being sad while we still have time together but it hurts my feelings that I feel more affected than she does.

Specific questions I am asking advice for:

1. I am scared about being alone and moving to a new city - any advice on this kind of big life change?

2. Has anyone experienced being in a loving relationship that is on a timeline - how do you enjoy it while still knowing that it is going to end?

3. How to deal with feelings of hurt and confusion when she makes these comments? I tend to get quiet when she does and that's when she tells me she loves me so I know she is trying to comfort me but I can't help but think she's really saying "I love you right now".

TL;DR! There is a countdown to the end of my relationship with my girlfriend who I love and I'm seeking advice on how to be okay with it.