Fucked up

One of my biggest problems/dopamine pits has always been money and online shopping. Idk what to do anymore. I fixed it financially but I still opened a card behind my partners back and used it to float us a couple months. They've always been super stressed about money and we're doing ok, we just had a lot of extra expenses that I knew our busy season of summer could cover. The card has been paid off and cancled and we're back to where we were. Only now we have a large purchase to make that will require a loan and Idk how much info is gonna come out in the credit check for that.

I want to tell them but this isn't the 1st time I've hidden things like this and I don't want to but they don't understand how pricey our business is and Idk I know go overboard sometimes for sure but I fear they might leave me over this because of the hiding things. Idk how to involve them without them blowing up at every expense and I've tried in the past to run all the expenses by them and they got annoyed/anxious with it all so quickly. Basically I'm just hear to vent and if y'all have any real advice lmk.

Is the loan check through our credit union gonna shoe this card still? Or will it just be a flat number? I only cancled it last week.