I need help understanding what is happening

Hi all,

I met a woman who I have been seeing on and off for a year and a half. She has compartmentalized me where I’ve never met her friends, kids, or been to her home. I wanted her to meet my mom, and she didn’t want to. She said she was a single mom with two kids.

Early on, she came every week to have sex for two days and go on dates. This lasted for months. I originally thought it would be a hookup since we met at a hotel the first time. She went cold about 8 months into the ‘relationship’ for about four months. I didn’t message her because it hurt but I finally reached back out. She said she just felt the logistics of the relationship are hard. She has two kids and I have to help an elderly parent and we live two hours apart. This kind of makes sense but I think there might be solutions. When I ask that, she said recently well “I don’t know what I want, and I don’t think you do either.” She had been seeing me about every 3-4 weeks for a couple days. This summer she has her kids and is wrapping up school, so I get she is busy. However, she hasn’t seen me at all, and I’ve even offered to come down to her. She just says she is busy or can’t make any promises. She would always text me quickly when I would text her, and now she’s started responding a day later or half a day later. She also said she did a week where she did a social media purge and so she didn’t respond for 7 days and apologized. I tried to get her on the phone this weekend and she ultimately said she would but then said she was on treadmill at gym and couldn’t talk that day.

Finally, out of frustration, I was in her area anyways to party and decided to pass by her home on the way home. There were two vehicles in the driveway early morning. Now, I’m wondering if she is raising her kids with her ex husband (I know they are divorced) or has someone else.

Am I dealing with an avoidant? Does the silencing of the phone to study for school make sense or does it sound like she’s hiding me now from another partner? Should I ask her to talk on the phone just to ask if she thinks she’ll see me again and if she needs space? I don’t know what to do. I feel like she is either an avoidant, I am just an unknowing affair partner, she has a new partner, or she is truly just that busy. I haven’t seen her for 8 weeks now. I really thought I had found a friend who I deeply cared about or a potential partner, so I’m upset. I just need advice please…