Comparing texts with a new guy versus with my ex.

I got asked out on a date from a guy on a dating app who I exchanged phone numbers with, but I'm not feeling excited when I text him. I know you're not supposed to compare the people you date to your ex, but it is so hard not to feel a bit of emptiness when you are trying to talk to a potential new connection and it just feels like they're not in the same wavelength as you like your ex was.

Here are the messages between me and my ex when we first exchanged texts:

Me: hi andrew this is katherine
Him: Hey Katherine! How’s the lab are you feeling the chemistry here
Me: yeah you’re def getting a good reaction out of me 👩🏻‍🔬
Him: Maybe we’re oppositely charged ions because you’re very attractive to me
Me: haha that was really good i like you

Here are the messages between me and this new guy:

Me: this is greg i beg?
Me: dr seuss ass greeting brought to you by katherine
Him: Hey Katherine
Him: Did you just watch the usa World Cup game?
Me: i did not 😪 i’d watch the world cup in a group setting though just not enticed enough to watch on my own
Him: That’s fair
Him: Well we won btw

I know that it's hard to gauge connection over text so I'm willing to give him a chance in person, but these interactions (with all the men after my last relationship) sometimes makes me miss the connection I had. It makes me wonder if I am not ready to go on a date with someone new and should cancel instead.

(Everyone in this text thread is in their late 20s).

Posted Jul 6, 2026, 8:59 PM UTC

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