Why am I like this?

I 17m have been depressed for 6 years and have noticed Im weak not just physically, I have almost no motivation to workout ( I have tried it but always stopped after a bit). I am ugly, I hate taking pictures, have an ugly smile, have depression hair (no motivation), motion sickness (or just weak stomach), I suck at socializing, I get hurt emotionally when insulted even if it was just a joke, I am just used to help people, I stutter which is perfect for being made fun of(genetics), I need glasses so I cant even use my eyes normally, I am very very unlucky on everything, I have started ro have people because of I have been treated ( prefer being alone now), I vomit quite often when going out with people that aren’t my family(school activities since I have no friends), I dont have any talent(only thing im decent at is computer stuff but mostly bc no one researches anymore), I don’t know what to study or have any motivation to study anything, I am ignored most days of the time by “friends” or some family members, and I almost never do things right which makes me not want to help people when I am unsure of something or say “Well I think its this, but Im not sure”. Theres probably more but I cant remember anything else.

I just dont understand why someone like me who treats everyone nicely and doesn’t try to judge others like most would has to suffer like this.

Some things might have been nitpicking but it just feels like with how many issues I have compared to others it feels like one big one (i hope that makes sense).

Im not really sure what Im asking for, I feel weirdly comfortable and don’t want to get better or at least on somethings. I think I just wanted to vent a little.

Any advice is appreciated