I finally tried it

I am posting this anonymously because no one in real life would believe me and I hope no one finds out. Everyone knows me as a cheerful guy, but that’s not really the case. I have been suffering from anxiety for quite some time, and I can’t describe the mental torment I go through when I’m alone within four walls (I have been living by myself for a few months now). Things got out of control previous night, everything had piled up, and I finally decided to deal with it. I jumped from the second floor when there was no one around and hit the asphalt. I still remember landing on my right arm, which somehow prevented the blow to my head. I lay there dazed for a while, unable to feel my body. I couldn't hear anything around me because of that buzzing sound that was tearing my brain apart. The last thing I remember were two guys smoking a cigarette outside the nearby casino.  They stood there cold-hearted, staring at me like I was an alien. Somehow, I managed to get back on my feet and returned to my apartment shortly after. I threw up and finally got into bed. I didn't sleep long, but I still remember what I dreamt about. Looking back, I’ve dreamt of surreal things, my whole life from my childhood when I was mentally trapped up to the present. My brain brought back memories of my first vacation abroad with my parents, my first girlfriend, the day I graduated and other things I remember through the shade. I woke up with terrible pain in my right shoulder and forearm and I still can't move them properly. I took the day off work and am still in bed, wondering what I did and what will happen to me in near future