Feeling like a failure but can’t get past it

My daughter is 8 months old and has only had real food about 3 or 4 times in her life. Otherwise it’s purées and little teething sticks. I get so anxious and it becomes hard to breathe and I hate to admit it, but I usually end up crying. It makes me feel like such a failure because she doesn’t eat real food. She’s had some things and often gags. I know gagging is good, but it still makes it difficult to see her completely red and making no noise when a bit of potato touches her mouth.

Her dad doesn’t really think about it and is happy with purées so it feels like it’s all on me. So then if she did choke, id feel like it was my fault.

She’s happy, healthy, and loved, so I know I’m not a failure. But I can’t get over this hurdle.

Yes I’ve looked at the solid starts app, I understand infant choking and CPR, but none of it helps. I fucking hate and it makes me feel so low.

Thanks for reading❤️‍🩹