Anyone else going through this?

Has anyone dealt with in-laws who seem to avoid coming around when you're home?

I'm genuinely curious because this has been bothering me for a while.

My wife and I are both in our late 30s with three kids. About a year ago, we made a decision that we believed was best for our family. At the time, my in-laws were watching our kids while my wife and I both worked. As life changed, my wife and I decided it made more sense for her to stay home with the kids and focus on raising our children, along with pursuing some other ventures. It was a decision we made together because we felt it was best for our family.

My in-laws, especially my father-in-law, didn't agree with that decision. He's always been someone who likes to voice his opinion, and over the years he's come at me sideways a few times with a disrespectful tone. The difference is, I'm respectful, but I don't bite my tongue when someone talks down to me. I think he's used to people just accepting it, and that's never been me.

It's now been about a year since he and I have spoken. Honestly, it's been peaceful, and I'm okay with that.

What I find strange is that they never stop by when I'm off work. If they come to see the grandkids, it seems to be when I'm at work. I don't have an issue with my mother-in-law at all. I know she loves those kids, and I've always left the door open for her. I've invited them over, included them in family gatherings, and never tried to keep her from seeing the grandkids. My impression is that she keeps her distance to avoid conflict, but I can't say for sure. Whatever the reason, that's between her and her husband. All I can do is continue to leave the door open.

For context, I'm not someone avoiding responsibility. I have a great career, run a side business, and I'm a very active father. My wife and I are fully capable of making decisions for our own household. Family members don't have to agree with every decision we make, but I don't think disagreements should affect the relationship between grandparents and their grandkids.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Did things ever improve, or did you eventually accept that this was just the new normal? I'm interested in hearing perspectives from both grandparents and parents.