Work limbo is wrecking my head. How do you live normally while planning for two possible futures?

Content warning: pregnancy loss/miscarriage.

I'm looking for advice from anyone who's been in a similar kind of limbo.

I'm in a difficult work situation at the moment. I'm having to plan for the future as if things might carry on, while also being realistic and preparing as if I may need to move on.

That split is messing with my head more than I expected.

I'm currently off work for mental health reasons. I'm safe, but I feel lost. I thought having some time away from the pressure would help me reset, and in some ways it has. I feel less immediately stressed. But I still feel stuck in the same uncertainty.

The hardest part is that I don't know how to live normally while this is hanging over me.

The closest comparison I can think of is when my wife and I were pregnant after previous miscarriages. Obviously work uncertainty is not the same as pregnancy loss, but the emotional pattern feels familiar. You're trying to plan ahead with hope, while also protecting yourself in case it all goes wrong. You don't want to write off months of your life, but you also don't feel able to fully relax into the future.

That's what this feels like just now. Planning, but not planning. Trying to live, but also bracing.

Part of me feels like I should be resting properly. Another part feels like I should be applying for jobs, networking, sorting my CV, and doing everything I can to protect my family's future. Then I feel guilty either way. If I rest, I feel lazy or irresponsible. If I job hunt, I feel like I'm not actually recovering.

So I end up half-resting, half-job hunting, half-present at home, and not doing any of it properly.

I also feel like I'm waiting for life to start again once I know what's happening with work. Which is a pretty miserable way to live, especially when I have a family and real life happening around me now.

Has anyone else been in that kind of limbo? How did you handle it? And how did you stop the uncertainty from taking over your whole head?