what am I even supposed to do atp </3

not sure if it matters but I'm 20, M- and like- I've been lonely for most of my life with the exception of my immediate family (parents, grandparents and my niece but bleh)

and like- I never really had friends either?? but whatevs- my issue is just like- idk what to do with myself atp- I talked to a psychiatrist for this aswell but he couldn't help me.. bleeehhh..

I fall in love very easily because I feel socially deprived and I get quite obsessed with my favourite person because they're all I really have- the only person whom I feel like I can talk to- but then they mention like "oh btw I'll be gaming with friends soon :)" and I just have to act like I'm okay with that because I don't want to scare them off but I can't😭😭 like vro- please-

and then I just feel so bad because I also want to have friends and not be lonely but people just don't seem to understand and later my fave person just like dissapears randomly- probably because I was too clingy?? idk- they never really tell me and it's just- UGH

so yeah idk what to do with myself now :3 I feel like I should just accept that love isn't a part of my life but it's just difficult and idk -^-;

I'd appreciate if someone could just like- study my brain atp and tell me how to be goodie </3