Just found out I have a chronic illness & it explains so much.

I have a connective tissue disorder (albeit mild), and it honestly explains everything.

- Why slipping rib syndrome (SRS) was only a symptom and not a cause, why SRS itself was overlooked for asthma.

- Why I was able to "pop" my hips in and out during childhood, explains partial "double jointed" feelings.

- Why I routinely rolled my ankles in sports and why my most recent rolled ankle (2 weeks ago) is still feeling stiff and sore.

- Why, the one time I sprained my wrist, it's never been the same. I've never broken any bones.

- Why it seemed like I was always overexerting myself in gym class just to touch the surface of where others were.

- Why I've been "afraid" of exercise.

- Why I get random lower back pain whenever I've been standing, twisting, etc. for longer than 20 minutes or so.

- Why I wake up feeling like an absolute train wreck in my mid 20's no matter how much sleep I've had, what bed I sleep on, or which pillow I use.

These are among the many other symptoms I experienced while just assuming that this is how my body is.

Nothing really changes and life is going as it always has. I don't really feel anything profound; more like a long-awaited revelation that surprises me absolutely none. I always wondered why it seemed like my life never really went in the direction of hard labor. I had wishes to join the military, but some factor or another always kept me out. I understand that I likely would have been medically discharged before basic training was completed due to the SRS, among other things.

I grew up on a farm, and am one of the very last of the young-ish adult generation to have gone through the school of hard knocks. I was noted for being quite strong in my teen years, but haven't been able to exercise the same due to thinking I'd just developed a bad knee out of nowhere and random side pain I'd always dealt with.

The thought of me being this fragile thing gives me feelings of self-disgust. That I could've done better if I'd done x-thing differently, or that waking up feeling like a train wreck every day is something that happens when you become an adult and isn't worth complaining over.

My mother had bad ankles and supposedly was double-jointed in her shoulders, and my grandma retired from the police force after breaking her neck falling down a manhole. Thus, I believe it got passed down from my mother's side.

I looked into treatment options, and it looks like it's going to involve some lifestyle changes. It's interesting how God is never late (referring to this revelation specifically), because I was starting to wonder just how well I was going to be able to do my current physical job in my 30's.

Currently I work in hospital security, and it gets rowdy sometimes. I opened up my online business back in May, wanting a change to stay home more often with my kiddo, not knowing that the change might've been forced upon me anyway. I also most recently considered content creation, even though that has never really been my niche. Now I'm starting to realize why I'm headed in this direction. But now I also have answers for my daughter, so she can thrive in life from the very start. Whenever I was in PE class, I always felt like I was being set up to fail. My husband and I are looking into home school for my daughter and I cannot be more glad that we have.

That's it I guess. 🤷‍♀️