Husband punched hole in the wall with our kids around, blames me.

Really struggling today and don’t want to share with anyone I know. Yesterday my husband got some family news that really upset him and ended up drinking a six pack. After I cared for the kids most of the day I wanted to take a shower and assumed he would be okay putting the kids to bed (2 and 7). I understand now I should not have done that. Kids were in the other room, he came in upset that I hadn’t asked him if he would do bedtime as I was getting ready to shower, I assumed it would be ok since I had done most of the caretaking that day. He started yelling at me to have a conversation about it first and then punched the bathroom wall. Later he said I manipulated him into doing it and didn’t give him any choice in the matter by already getting ready to shower. I told him I assumed it would be ok since it’s something he regularly does is bedtime, he said I had no regard for his feelings. My son came out of his room and asked what was going on.

I saw later in the evening that one of the ring cameras caught the audio, I’ve watched it a lot and am really sad. I’m seeking advice on what to do. He’s essentially blaming me for manipulating the evening and “triggering” him to get that mad… but I know that no matter what I said his action wasn’t ok. But I’m feeling crazy here.