Flight or fight and panic

Dad (84) shattered his ankle in a fall, went to an awful rehab/nursing home for a few weeks. Mom (82) stayed with him those weeks non-stop 24/7. They are now home, he’s in wheelchair and she’s still with him 24/7. I run errands and/or sit with dad so she can do things. I have sat with him a few times now but my dad is starting to get some dementia and my reaction is to get massive panic attacks if I have to stay with him longer than couple hours.

My siblings who are out of town and no help. They just think I’m crazy or a drama queen. I’ve tried Hydroxine, Xanax and Klonopin (all prescribed and tried at different times over the last couple months but they make me severely depressed or a crying mess). Tomorrow he has to have angioplasty early and I need to be there with my mom. I’m already a wreck thinking about it. It’s supposed to be outpatient but with his age, diabetes, heart disease, it could be overnight.

I know this isn’t the anxiety meds forum but I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what you did.