Can someone explain 3rd man in “etiquette” to me?

This is long, but I like to leave no need for follow-up questions and give the full story up front for easier discussion after the fact. TL;DR is “is it not ok for me to kinda just push my own teammate out of the way and take his guy on for him, to whatever degree of physicality it happens to lead to?”….but I’m gonna be PISSED if you ask me a question about something I already purposely put in the details so you and 50 other people don’t have to ask me the same clarifying questions separately, lmao. You should be prepared to encounter words on Reddit🙄😂

I play hockey but don’t really watch it, lol. I watched as a child and teenager but pretty much was there for the fights. Playing beer league a few years now, didn’t play growing up. So I don’t really have any concept of unwritten rules, etc, or even all of the written rules, if I’m being honest, lmao

So…”no fighting in beer league” reprimands aside, and just dealing with the actual reality that sometimes there IS (while acknowledging that you are in fact probably a dork for doing so, lmao), I was hoping we could be adults and have an honest conversation without all the pearl-clutching. And you can tell me I’m the asshole; that’s fine, I might be, and it’s why I’m asking. I’m basically trying to learn the rights and wrongs of defending myself and teammates from the occasional hardos we encounter, especially at the “who gives a fuck” level of D league, lmfao.

So….I’m wicked chill, but I can snap in a second, for the right reason, and then it’s pretty explosive. And there’s something natural in me that makes me reactive to affronts to respect or safety, like I’m going to come flying over to confront any and all offenders, at very least verbally. It’s just who I am. And I’m more reactive over teammates than myself.

That said….luckily it’s fairly rare, but once in a while a shoving match breaks out. And I think my unconscious mentality is just “stand in for your teammate and fight FOR them.” I’m not going to allow any teammates to get in fights or shoving matches. If you want that, come see me. But you don’t touch my guys, period. I don’t care if he spit in your mom’s face and kicked your dog; if you’re looking to fight over it, you get ME, not him. I mean, all else aside, most of my teammates are better than me, so it’s a service to my team to take the penalty, lmao.

But that’s just who I am in life, so of course that’s me on the ice too. And again….couple times a year maybe, I’m not out here looking for trouble, AT ALL, despite my love of hockey fights, lol. I answer doorbells, but I never ring them.

So before I go too unbearably long (too late), I’ll summit Mount WhatsMyPoint. Like I said, I’m rarely the guy to be reacting to something done to me personally, and I’ve never in my career done anything to anyone else that’s drawn their ire. I play a clean game, and softer than I’d like, because I know my temper and reactiveness, so I’m trying not to rile anyone up who will then get me riled up. I’m just here to suck at hockey and get some exercise, lmfao.

But when shit jumps off, my response is to always slide in between the two, back to my teammate, boxing him out. And basically the message is meant to be “SURPRISE! You don’t get him; you get ME! And I’m [usually] way bigger than he is, so maybe you might want to rethink this and cool your ass off.”

To me, that seems TOTALLY reasonable, on the ice, on the street, any venue of life; correct me if I’m wrong.

But when I do that, someone always gets fired up (even a ref once), talking about “3rd man in!” To me, that’s wrong. I’m the third to ARRIVE, but I’m REPLACING my teammate and fighting in his stead. There’s still only two combatants; no one is getting jumped, I’d understand that more.

Anyway, what’s the call on all this? The end result needs to be that no one on my team gets physical unless you get through me first, like I just simply won’t allow different. I’m really not trying to be a tough guy, I’m not trolling, but dead serious, that can’t be happening. I’m more suited for it. I have no real desire to do it at this phase of my life, but anyone riding shotgun with me has my pledge of full protection. If we get some big Boogaard motherfucker next season, he can handle it, but I’m the closest we’ve got if the shit jumps off. And I want no shit to pop off at all and we just play and go home, but someone always has to be Billy Badass. And I’ll wear whatever blame I shoulder for trying to check guys like that, but I’m the lesser of two evils.

If you have anymore bandwidth for story time, this is completely optional and just extra detail if it helps with your opinion, my most recent example, I actually claim some fault in and made an apology. But another part, I still don’t understand the problem, for all the aforementioned reasons.

Teammate got to shoving, and I slid in between and grabbed the guy. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but I apparently dropped my stick and gloves, probably just to more securely grip the guy. Wasn’t supposed to be a deliberate escalating move but I can see how it could be read that way. But again, I don’t even know I’m doing it when I do it, I sort of black out in chaotic situations. Somebody came in from behind and pushed me, I slipped and fell from it, and the refs were already there so they let it go.

I assumed I’d be penalized but I wasn’t, only the initial combatants. I guess I didn’t go beyond menacing the guy. Guy who knocked me down wasn’t called either. I just called it fair, maybe I was over the line. I still don’t see what’s wrong with substituting myself in for my teammate, but I was probably overly aggressive for the situation. Our best player had just gotten run into the boards, and I flew over but then the guy who hit him was all apologetic, I realized it was an accident, and I think was still charged up with unexpended energy. Found the guy I grabbed after and apologized, said it was too much. He was cool, said he was just trying to get his shove in. Upon seeing the tape, my teammate kinda started it, lmao. Whoops.

That’s plenty out of me, but productive feedback is appreciated. If you just want to yell at me, I guess you can, but I won’t care and it’s just more annoying than anything, so keep it to a dull roar, lmao, unless I’ve got some major blind spot here and I’m being a huge asshole.