My (21F) parents forced me into an engagement but I want to be with my boyfriend (29M). How do I end the engagement with the least harm?

hey everyone

im 21f from a pretty conservative country and ive been with my boyfriend (29m) since 2024. my mom and friends have known about him for a long time. i even told my mom about him before we officially started dating and my sister, cousins and close friends all know him too.

the problem is my mom has never wanted me to marry him. she wants me to marry someone from a family that my parents already know and trust.

around 40 days ago one of my parents close family friends sent a proposal for their son. i told my parents i wasnt interested and asked my mom to at least meet my boyfriend before making any decisions but she refused. they kept telling me the meetings between both families were just friendly visits and nothing was being decided.

then suddenly they fixed an engagement date.

i argued a lot and tried to stop it but my parents kept saying i was only reacting this way because of my anxiety and depression. eventually my mom told me i had to choose between my boyfriend and my family and i felt completely trapped so i agreed to the engagement.

the difficult part is that the family ive gotten engaged to has actually been really kind and respectful. they havent treated me badly at all and i honestly dont want to hurt them because theyve done nothing wrong. And i do compare this family to my bf's family who've always been so cold with me despite me trying to be very loving with them

my boyfriend knew everything that was happening. i asked him if he could send a proposal but he said he needed more time because of his financial situation. since then hes been really upset and has even accused me of cheating because i couldnt stop the engagement. At the moment, i have told him that i'll break the engagement in some time, i said i needed a break from this relationship as we've had multiple struggling periods during this recent time and earlier too for example have different values and sometimes i feel like he doesnt really understand me emotionally. Because of conservation family i go through a lot of trauma bit my bf knows nothing about that as he never had time for it , neber showed anu interest but i know about all his ongoing and past issues as i am genuinely interested in him and creating a space for him to open up and that something he has never done for me

hes always working and under a lot of financial pressure so i know thats part of it. but i do feel that he's just spending all his time working for his family but they dont reciprocate his efforts so ots me who makes up for that deficiency of love from his family to make sure he feels loved and cared for. still love him and want a future with him. hes been loyal to me throughout our relationship and i dont want to lose him.

im thinking about moving to a hostel first so i can have some independence before i have another conversation with my parents. my fiance and i havent really formed any emotional bond as we have not at all interacted so i feel like ending the engagement now would be much better than waiting until things go further.

my main goal is to end the engagement with as little damage as possible because both families have known each other for around 20 years and i dont want this to turn into a huge fight between them.

what would you do if you were in my position? how would you end the engagement as respectfully as possible while also trying to convince your parents to give your relationship a chance?

tl;dr: im 21f and got pressured into an engagement even though ive been with my boyfriend (29m) for 2 years. i want to end the engagement without hurting two families that have known each other for years. how would you handle it?