Anxiety? Depression? Bipolar?

BLEH.

I was diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and MDD at 16. Medicated until things chilled out in my 20s. Pregnancy wrecked me - back on medication. Somewhere along the line, I was diagnosed with bipolar II. I was like, nahhhhh, I'm just hella depressed with a couple of fun times peppered in. I got to thinking about this hypomania stuff and things kind of started lining up. Periods of unexplained bliss, not needing to sleep, cough getting arrested for shoplifting cough, cough creating an entire love story in my head about this boy who didn't even know who I was in high school cough, and it kind of clicked. So, okay, I have bipolar II. Turns out I really love hypomania, though. OR SO I THOUGHT. Because what I didn't know was that hypomania isn't just that feeling of being on top of the world, where the stars just align and the air feels better and the sounds sound better and I'm way more awesome, it can also present as deep, crippling anxiety. Panic attacks for no reason. The feeling of constant dread, from the moment you wake up until you try to fall asleep.

That's where I'm at right now. I've been on Lamictal for a couple years and my mood has, overall, been pretty great. I felt "normal". I was functional. I was enjoying life and feeling like a good mom. Then a little flicker of anxiety, first in the form of being a passenger on the highway, then to actually driving on the highway, then to driving on back roads, then to driving period, then to just all of the time, there is no relief, I'm thisclose away from checking into a hospital because I can't handle it.

ANYWAY, I don't know what my brain's doing. Is it just anxiety? Am I going through perimenopause (I turn 41 this month). Are my hypomanic states not fun anymore? Is this how it's always going to be?