Update from situation I was in 2 years ago.

Well u may be able to see some of my posts on here, some posts I made were on a different account.

Well its been almost 3 years in a few months since I finally snapped and didnt care what happened to me after driving my car to a public place and telling my abusive partner to get out of the car we were living in together and get out of my life after 2 years of horrible abuse and kidnapping. I didnt care if he even killed me at that point. I didnt care if he was gonna set my car on fire. I just didnt care anymore and told him to leave. He make a total scene, physically harrased me a little, stole my car keys so i couldnt leave, threw my clothes and contents of my car all over the parkinglot, stole some of my things, and for the cherry on top, poured milk all over my backseat. Im the middle of the summer lol. But then he finally walked away. He had stolen a bunch of my shit and continued walking. I left my car there and stayed with a friend. Next day came back with a spare key and went and cleaned my car out and thres away all his stuff he left behind. The first year away from him was really hard. Not because I missed him, but because he quickly began stalking me at my work place and third spaces and stalking me and messaging my loved ones on the internet. Trying to "expose" me to random people ive never met.

It was extremely stressful. But the last few months, it just doesnt phase me anymore. The main thing is he is unable to stalk me physically anymore which put me in peace of mind. And the only reason he stopped physically is because since he would stalk me online, i pretended that i moved away all the way across the country. And i shit you not as soon as i made something saying i had moved, literally 2 weeks later he messaged me saying he was gonna be in my town soon and thay he wanted to meet. I did all this because I knew he would move away if he thought I moved away. And he totally did because hes crazy. Well he still stalks me online and messages my loved ones saying nasty stuff, but at least I know physically I am safer now. He constantly makes new accounts to message me after blocking so fucking many of them. Idk how he keeps being able to make new accounts but he does. Its crazy as hell.

After these years of finally being free from him, ive grown alot and ive healed alot. I feel like, as unfortunate as it is, this whole situation has shown me how much I was giving up on myself and not putting myself first, and taught me how to show up for myself. As horrible as all this was, im suprised I left this whole situation with something so important that I didnt have before, the guts to stand up for myself when I need to.

Though ill say most days, I can let the continued attacks roll down my back and have it not affect me. But some days im just more triggered and have my moments. But overall, I am just so so happy im at where I am now. Even on my worst days, they're never as bad as my best days were when I was with him. Im so greatful I left before he could harm me even more.

If youre struggling with a situation right now, just know I feel for you. This is going to be possibly the hardest thing you've ever done, but you need to leave in any way possible. And once youre away, STAY AWAY. i know its hard, i went back and forth a ton with this dude. It wrecked my whole nervous system to the point where I couldnt even fight back after a while.

And even afterwards it takes a while to heal from this all.

I still havent gone to see a therapist yet, but ive done alof of working on moving past all this and becoming stronger from it.

Just know that your life is worth it. Leave the person who is abusing you, seek resources. Do whatever you can to get the fuck away. Call women's shelters or domestic violence shelters. But you want to be ready to walk away from the relationship. He's not going to stop, no matter what he tells you. You have value and you need to pretend like youre your own parent or friend and do what you would do for a friend or family member that is experiencing your situation. Ask for help please. Once youre away, your life WILL get alot better.

I wish anyone who's going through this right now amd anyone who has already gone through this a very I love you, and you can do this. You can do hard things. You can do this. Please look after yourself. ❤️❤️❤️ i love you all