Diagnosed years ago at 25. I don't think this diagnosis fits me. Would like to hear your thoughts.

I began experiencing suicidal thoughts at the age of 11 when life got tougher. The thoughts confined as problems in my life worsened. At 25 I showed up in the ER after a suicide attempt and was diagnosed with BPD after an evaluation by a psych team.

That was 11 years ago. Here is why I don't think the diagnosis was ever correct. I don't have core feelings of abandonment or a fear of abandonment. A matter of fact I don't really relate well to people at all and have always been a loner. I do most activities alone. I have never had reckless behavior like over spending, drinking or a need for sex with several people. You could argue being suicidal on the past is reckless behavior and it would be but I never had those other specific traits.

Never done the "splitting" thing. I don't know what it's like to idealize another person or turn on them. That's very strange to me.

I have experienced depersonalization but that was 99% during when I had active panic disorder. I haven't had an episode on several years of that "detached" feeling.

I still have horrible, horrible depressive lows. I do feel numb sometimes especially when stress piles up and things get worse and worse.

What are your thoughts?