Hidden desires

Due to some personal issues and events in my life, I have developer hypersexual tendencies and urges. In my personal/ public life, I am very reserved, quiet, and respectful. No one I know would ever guess how strong my sexual urges are, how constantly horny I am, or that my thoughts are constantly wandering. I am often reading nsfw posts and erotica while at work. I edge in the bathroom. I practice kegels to stimulate my prostate, so even when I am just sitting, and can't do anything, I keep myself turned on. I find myself taking risks. I stay up all night reading and masturbating. Seeing the sun come up and knowing I have to go to work now is rough, but I can't just stop. My confession is really that I am not who I think I am, or what anyone else thinks I am. It feels like I am two different people. If anyone knew I would be horrified, but i don't think I can or will change anytime soon.