Help me understand if I am 594 or 593?

Before we begin, I want to say that I LITERALLY know the entire theoretical part by heart, I also know all the descriptions of the tritypes and their differences very well, but I am so contradictory in terms of the emotional center that I myself cannot understand. (RLueI 3E-1 moment)

I just want to know how to understand what's what because when I'm unhealthy I'm more like 594, when I'm healthy I'm more like 593. I want something that will help me make a 100% decision to close all the gestalts that I haven't been able to for a long time.Is there a way to tell the difference?

How do I even know where I fit in? I'm like a healthier 593. I'm much less isolated. And overall, I often adapt/adapt to look normal. I also want to say that I'm not without a desire to succeed/share my knowledge. I have simple, but not entirely unambitious goals (basically, I just WANT a good job and be an excellent specialist, lol. Although I do all this only for self-respect/sensory comfort in the future).Besides, I often perceive myself as a "normal" person, and I think that's the right approach. I want to be valued in my group, but at the same time, there is another side to me.

Regarding 594, it's more of my unhealthy/PTSD version (yes, I had that once,now healthy).It's more about moments when I really screw up and start fatalizing/blaming myself for something. I could generally be quite emotional secretly for long periods of time. And in the damn PTSD-period, I even allowed myself to dump on near ones (I'm not proud of this AT ALL).In general, I can be creative and dreamy, I often have my head in the clouds and am generally lazy. But at the same time, I am afraid when people call me special because sometimes it seems to me that special = incompetent/bad masking.I often choose complete isolation except for social media (and even then, anonymous ones). Although for some reason people love my easy-going and weak-willed nature. Maybe because I never bother any of my friends.

Many friends will say 594 ALTHOUGH I just don't reveal anything to them about my heart type motivation/problems. I'm just neurotic by nature, but rather because I wasn't very lucky with genetics.Maybe some say 593 idk