Meet The Illusionist—a law student whose greatest talent isn't analyzing cases, but pulling passing grades out of a hat. While everyone else was drowning in codals, he was busy mastering the dark arts of academic cutting and pasting.

Now that all his "efforts" have finally paid off, let’s take a look back at the brilliant syllabus of his law school career:

1. Constitutional Law 2: The Unconstitutional Method

While Consti is all about the Bill of Rights, The Illusionist took some serious liberties with the "right to a fair exam." It was officially proven that he cheated his way through the exams. Turns out, his due process involved a lot of unauthorized assistance.

2. Private International Law (PRIL): The AI-Generated Masterpiece

When it came to his PRIL paper, The Illusionist wasn't just cutting corners—he was incredibly loud and proud about it. He openly bragged to everyone about how great his paper was, completely unbothered by how it actually came to be. His self-proclaimed master strategy?

Artificial intelligence, meet authentic laziness. He flexed a grade that belonged more to OpenAI than his own legal mind. At least he helped a little bit in the research?

3. The Magic Word Document Trick

The crown jewel of his exam tactics? The "Ghost Text" maneuver. He would keep a Microsoft Word document open during exams with key notes hidden in white font. Need an answer? Just CTRL + F, highlight, change the text color to black, and presto! Instant legal genius.

Special Thanks to the Enablers

Of course, no great magician works without an audience—or accomplices.

• To the Brothers: Thank you for always keeping watch, holding the curtain, and covering for him when the tricks almost went wrong.
• To the Sisters: Thank you to you guys, too, for keeping the secrets safe. And Sisters from Two Sides, if you know what I mean.

Behind every "successful" corner-cutter is a loyal village keeping the fraud alive. Cheers to a legal career built on a foundation of white text and AI prompts!

The Ultimate Reality Check: Why UP Law's Top Students Do Not Top the Bar

There’s a glaring reason why UP Law’s supposed "top students" so often fail to top the Bar Exams. It’s because the Hokus Pokus inside the university walls simply does not work under the scrutiny of the Supreme Court. Maybe the true Bar Topnotchers should have been the ones wearing the medals all along. They are the true alphas of the law, after all. Doing something without the help of the brothers and the sisters.

(This was written by AI, but at least I'm not passing myself off as a good brilliant guy)