Ex broke up with me, need advice

Hey everyone, looking for some perspective on a really confusing breakup dynamic, specifically regarding avoidant attachment.
My ex and I dated for about six months, and honestly, the connection was incredible. In person, everything felt completely natural, healthy, and safe. She routinely told me that she had never felt so appreciated, cared for, or loved in her entire life. On our last day together before I had to travel abroad for work, I was a bit emotional about leaving, and she deeply reassured me, telling me I never had to apologize for showing my emotions and to have a safe trip.
However, the moment I left and we transitioned to long-distance, everything shifted overnight. Her texts became incredibly cold and distant. Eventually, she sent a long, very thoughtful breakup text saying that she couldn't handle things right now. She wrote: "The distance and the intensity you bring is something I’m not able to match, and it isn't something I even want at this moment in my life."
But here is the contradiction: in that exact same breakup text, she explicitly asked to meet up and talk when I return to our home city next month ("we can certainly talk when you get back, if that is still what you wish").
I was really hurt, so I left her final message on read. It’s been total silence for a few weeks now. I wanted to give her the space she asked for, but it’s been incredibly hard. I actually had a massive birthday surprise trip planned for her that she has no idea about, which makes the "intensity" comment sting even more because my intentions were always purely coming from a place of love.
I’m trying to process a few things:
Why would someone officially end a relationship because of "intensity" but immediately try to secure a plan to meet up face-to-face a couple of months later?

If you've been in this situation with an avoidant partner, how did the face-to-face meeting go after a period of total no-contact?

How do I navigate seeing her next month? I have so much I want to say and clear up, but I don't want to show up heavy and instantly trigger her to pull away again.

Would love any advice or insights from people who have navigated the long-distance avoidant trap