What should i do next?

I am dead inside

Too much of blackp1ll has killed me. These days i dont enjoy any thing. Nothing excites me. Idea of living the lost youth does it excite me?no. Idea of having sex. No. I dont go to office i havent been to there 3 weeks. Only reason they are tolerating me is because i am a good employee with good work ethics. And tbh even if they fire me i would not care. I dont even want to kill myself. Its so fun just lying down and rotting. And smoking. Kek.