How to manage my brother who bullies me but everyone blames me?

Sorry if this is vague. It's painful to talk about and I don't have the mental capacity to put a lot of detail.

I live in a culture where families are very emeshed. It's normal to live at home till (if) you marry.

I'm one of three brothers. We are all working adults. I'm the eldest. My middle brother has always been rebellious and we've always fought a lot as children. Now as adults, he has been diagnosed with bipolar (though I do think it's a misdiagnosis, as it was diagnosed in the middle of an extremely traumatic episode after he was attacked in a hate crime and stalked by the perpetrator. Plus lost a friend to suicide the same month).

This was almost a decade ago. When he returned home from college, he was in a bad place. Would lose his temper often and easily. Lots of medications that needed adjustment. I'm sure you can understand there was a lot of instability that wasn't his fault. But he was really mean throughout this. Would ask me for advice, then insult me. Be rude. Yell at my parents. Every gave him a free pass because 'he has mental health issues'. I wasn't in a good place myself post covid but because I am the eldest and wasn't falling apart visibly, I didn't get support from them.

Fast forward, my brother is more stable and not living where I am thank god. He's in a good place but he continues to be very mean to me. Loses his temper at me. Speak rudely to everyone. My parents and other brother are literally scared of him and say nothing. He will waste money, not do chores, all sorts. If I do even ten percent of his disrespectful attitude, I am immediately called out.

I used to try and defend myself but everyone would get mad at me, so I stopped. I barely talk to him at all when he's in town. It's hard to talk to someone if you don't know if they will be rude or polite. They do this with me th e most but can lose their temper at everyone.

Recently we were on a family holiday and it was really hard. He was being mean to me throughout. I'm considering skipping the family trip next time. Thankfully now we are separate again. But he's still being mean on our family group. I'm just ignoring him.

But it's really impacting me emotionally. I am up now bevause he's been rude and it's upset me so much. I had anxiety dreams and nightmares for a week after the family trip. Last year on the family trip, we were sharing a room and he was yelling and cussing me out in his dream.

This might more of a vent really. Because I honestly don't even know what to ask on the advice front. If anyone has any ideas on how to lessen my brothers impact on me and creating this anxiety in me, I would be very grateful.

This situation has also damaged my relationship with both my parents and my younger brother. My aunts are on my side, but no one can intervene as my brother doesn't listen to anyone and my parents, in my opinion, continue to enable him.

I feel like cutting off my family and moving out of the country but I also really like my life in my hometown and I love my home and our rescue dogs and my therapist. I don't want to leave but I feel so unloved.

I have a therapist for the record. But don't have access to them right now because of travels. And I also really struggle to talk about this in therapy.