Cervical adenocarcinoma: dealing with the uncertainty and paranoia

Hi,

I was diagnosed with cervical adenocarcinoma, stage 1A1, found through a cone biopsy. My doctors recommended a hysterectomy, which I had recently.

During the surgery, my bladder was damaged, so I had a catheter for two weeks. After it was removed, I developed a UTI and I'm now on antibiotics, recovering from both the UTI and the surgery.

The pathology results from the hysterectomy showed the cancer was more spread out than expected. This is surprising because my CT scan before surgery was clear. My doctors said the cancer seems to have behaved unusually, growing in a scattered pattern rather than as expected.

I now have a PET scan scheduled to check whether it's present anywhere else in my body. I don't have a confirmed stage yet, but my doctor mentioned it may be closer to stage 1B. I've also been told I'll need radiation regardless of what the PET scan shows.

Honestly, the uncertainty is really getting to me. Every time I talk to my doctor, the news seems to get a bit worse, and I'm not sure what to expect anymore. I've also been feeling paranoid, noticing things like constant back and neck pain and immediately wondering if it means the cancer is spread out already.

Honestly, the uncertainty is really getting to me. Every time I talk to my doctor, the news seems to get a little worse, and I don't really know what to expect anymore. I've also been feeling paranoid, noticing things like constant back and neck pain and immediately wondering if it means the cancer has already spread. Another thing is that I dont fully trust my doctor but I have no other gyneco-oncologist where I leave or at a reasonable distance.

I have great friends and a partner, but I keep finding myself not wanting to talk to them about this. I don't want to make them feel worse, and I don't want it to be the only thing I ever talk about. I want to stay positive, but my mind keeps playing tricks on me.

So I guess I'm posting for a few reasons:

To vent: sometimes it's just easier with people who've actually been through it.

Positive outcomes: did any of you have a similar experience that turned out well? Do you know if the patchy or spotted cancer behavior is normal?

The paranoia: is this normal? Did you experience anything similar, physically or mentally?

Treatment: did you do radiation alone, or radiation with chemo? How did that go for you?

Thanks for reading this far. Any shared experience helps.