Does anyone else just... brew while you're doing monotonous work?

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings"

This could not be further from the truth for me. I've found that for most of my life, whenever I'm cleaning or doing work on my house, my thoughts tend to get pretty negative. I think about friendships or situations that have gone wrong in the past.

For example, the other night, my husband said I should cook something different for the next day's dinner that required a lot of prep. It was 1 am, my sleep medication had kicked in, and we still had a few servings left of my "Don't Bother Me Chili" (basically a huge batch of chili I make when I'm going to be too busy to cook for a few days and my husband can heat it up in the microwave when he gets home from work). Totally fine. Totally reasonable request. But at that moment it just upset me because it meant I'd have to get up and do some prep work right then, and because of my meds I was loopy-tired. I also had work to do in the kitchen the next day and I wasn't sure if I'd have the space needed to prepare the dish. I said "we still have chili" and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I had my usual chores and housework to do as well as sanding and prepping the kitchen to paint. My thoughts went where they usually go and built up as I worked and by the time my husband got home from work I was so angry about his request that I had to pull out my nicotine gum just to chill out. I don't quite remember the conversation but it didn't ruin the night.

Then later, I was painting the backs of the cabinets and my mind went somewhere negative again, that time fixating on a certain friend that I'm in the middle of losing due to her religious beliefs. The TLDR on that is that she's basically in a cult. I had to pull out the gum again.

I don't like to listen to music or podcasts while I'm working because I've found them to be irritating and just distracting enough to where my work isn't its best. I've been looking into therapy for a while but I haven't found a plan that works for my budget yet.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, but just wondering if anyone has had the same issue. There's a HealthyGamerGG video out there somewhere about processing troubling events, and how doom scrolling or doing something that intentionally distracts you from those thoughts don't actually make you process those thoughts. It's rather working with your hands alone, yard work, house work ect, that lets your brain process them. So maybe this is just my brain processing these things. I'm not sure.

Feel free to share your experiences or thoughts.