Long story short; male to female transgender. Psyopped into gender dysphoria at around age 14; got super into 4tran and mindfucked by it around the same time, ended up going on hormones at the age of 16 years 6 months. and... that was it.

i'm 21 now. i've been on hormones for around five years. (currently off them for several months, but this hasn't impacted my feminisation). i've spent almost this entire time boymoding, with plans to start girlmoding after i begin to malefail consistently. i trained my voice and sometimes presented myself as female when going to meetups with new people, and seemingly no one questioned me when i did so. but... i never actually did malefail. like, there hasn't been a SINGLE time when someone saw me without hearing my femvoice beforehand. or rather, there's been \*a\* singular time that happened, a couple years ago, when i was in a winter coat.

the thing is, everyone who sees my pictures thinks i should have an easy time passing. i have a girlfriend who does pass, that considers me attractive. everyone is very surprised to hear that i don't malefail. i frequently get called BDD when i complain about my issues (indeed i used to suffer from actual BDD in the past, but less so now). my own mother, who is very supportive, thinks i look completely female and dismisses my concerns with talk about 'mannerisms' or whatever. yet none of this matters. i consistently get called \*molodoj ćelovek\* or \*paren'\* or \*mužćina\* or what have you. at some point i promised myself i would just start correcting them in femvoice, but the thought of 'it's ma'am' hons prevented me from doing so. obviously.

recently i've begun to incorporate androgynous or outright feminine motives into my presentation. i started growing my hair out for real (it was usually mid-length). my mom gave me a couple blouses that i've been wearing the hell out of. my boobs are clearly visible through them! yet no one ever seems to question any of this. i'm a young man in the eyes of the entire society.

and yet... no result. today i've been getting out of my apartment block and an older couple molodoj ćelovek'd me without questioning themselves. and i think that's fucking it for me. i'm done. passing isn't real. transphobes are right. fuck this shit, genuinely fuck this shit so much. 

attached are some pictures of me so you can judge my 'passability' by yourself. i'm 180 cm 70 kg A-cup size 80 cm underbust

I'm done. I'm detransitioning. 5 years on E, malefailed ONCE