I hate my mom.

(sorry if my grammar is all over the place, i try.)
Sometimes I feel like im exaggerating but i also feel like I’m not at the same time.
Idk how to feel anymore, idk if im correct in the way i react to her.
My mom hates me. Idk if it’s true, but no one that loved me treated me the way she does.
She has never hit me in my teens and has almost never before(my size probably contributes to that fact)
But abuse (if I can call it that)stems from her words and he actions. She hates me.
For now let me refer to a recent event. After my first school term, i failed.i didn’t fail tremendously or anything, just didn’t get the required mark for some core subjects. After she saw those marks, she proceeded to deny me the 1 thing i wanted over all.
Through back to early Jan, its my birthday. The previous year i failed hard but got condoned as the teachers saw that i was truly trying. (i think)
My mom wasn’t happy, told almost everyone who cared to listen(keep in mind). So on my birthday when i wished for a laptop so i could try my hands in studying, coding, animation, game development and design i got a “yes but money is tight,maybe next month”(we are not poor but money was tight)
I proceed in good hopes to watch and research all about coding, game dev, modelling and such, but every month she kept on pushing it to the next month. Till the first school term ended, only then did she bank my marks on the laptop. I was crushed, i saw no reason to carry on with school having to wait another entire term was too much,i lost hope. Soon the second term ended, I actually did better in the subject that made me fail the first term but I fell in another core subject, which made me fail again. I also got low in art( keep in mind its my favourite subject, I didn’t get low cuz im bad at art ,i got low because the drama teacher took all my marks away from me simply because i was laughing in class)
So when she sent the report to me she came at me ruthlessly, calling me a failure, im dumb, all those things. it hurts, it truly hurts. But what hurst the most is being further from getting further from the laptop. Every time i try talk to my mom about anything personal or anything that might inconvenience her it’s like im a useless burden on her back. She nagged me for what i want for my furniture in my room, i was happy to do so, so I gave her the idea I wanted then suddenly its too much work for her, i asked her for new shoes a few months ago,she invited me to her room to see them. I found them, they weren’t on sale, i told her those are the ones I want, she ended up not getting anyone anything. No matter what approach I try i have no power. Not having any power over your own life can really break a man. Not to mention most of this was done without any digital freedom (which i still dont have) my mom broke my phone in the middle of term 2 and i had to study with her iPad which has parental locks on it. I slowly claimed the device entirely since i have no other device.not having a phone has burdened me for the longest time. It made studying 2x harder, socialising 2x harder, even just relaxing 2x harder. People say tuff time never last but this has lasted the whole year so far. There still is a lot more that I haven’t said yet. I know im privileged and that’s why i want to know if im just being some spoiled brat or something