Open the door ?

Hi, I (21m) broke up with my 2-1/2 year relationship with my ex(21f). I know I made the right decision and I’m just gutted by it because I had to do it while still loving her and I think she still loved me. Since the talk which was insanely shorter than i expected we’ve been no contact. I’ve had the chance to think a lot and have thought about reaching out many times for closure. As we get closer to a month of no contact I feel like I still want to send the message to at least give me peace of mind leaving by saying what I want. Before I do I wanted to know if it was even a good idea. Ik I’m supposed to stick with my decision but the way things ended made no sense for how good the relationship was and how no one cheater or anything.
I was going to open the last snap she sent me (from before the breakup)today and then reach out tomorrow. All I want to do is share that I didn’t leave an move on like an a-hole I cared everyday was destroyed by my decision, and open up for us to have an in person cool convo between adults.
Ik the dumper rarely gets any love here but believe me I respected myself leaving and I want to reach out because I know damn well she never will as the dumpee, too much influence around her that won’t allow her to.