Left Out?

How do you reconcile and change your own reactions to their horrible behavior? Fwiw my partner is completely supportive of us and puts boundaries on their family. This is simply the latest of conflicts.

The whole family is going as a large group to spend time with another larger group of family. My partner's immediate family - parent, siblings, and siblings partners, and pets. All involved, except one are adults.

There are potentially other family members (siblings of the parent and their immediately family) in the area with some time as the extra large family to just low key be together. I'm cool with that.

I am currently facing mobility issues and will need a mobility aids to do life for awhile. It should be temporary, but will be needed during the visit. There's also a chance I may stay back. My partner wants me to be a safe and comfortable during the trip, if I am able to make it.

My partner was handling all the details and I had asked to be removed from the countless group chats so I could focus on our household. Yet, I kept being added back, so I was seeing part of the planning. My partner is fully capable of relaying what is needed to know.

The problem is partner's immediately family wants to all stay together in one location. However, they have put zero consideration towards space, accessibility, or mobility concerns, should I be able to participate. They are also chosing a place that is pet friendly to keep one sibling from having to board their very large breed of dogs. In asking concerns in planning, I was met with assuming I would not be attending, but yet partner and adult children were? I only responded because I was still getting put on message threads; I ended up blocking all numbers for now.

My partner recached to ask about the planning and logistics and space needs. Their parent responded with silence.

Partner was then met with by a sibling why they did not want to stay with the rest of the group. Partner responded with accessibility accommodations and concerns of being knocked down by the dogs. Additional, no consideration was given for our adult children to have their own space. Met with silence.

MY partner and our pod picked our own location to stay so we can be in area and be part of some of the outings.

There has always been some hostility, but over the last few years I have finally put boundaries on what I am willing to tolerate. I will have contact with the immediately family and larger groups only if I am up for it. I am content to just be at our lodging, in nature, holed up by myself.

But the completely lack of consideration for mobility with a complete assumption that I am not attending or that my partner and family would just leave me behind, is simply the last straw.

I am willing to get a caretaker to stay behind so my family can do the trip, if it ends up I cannot attend. My partner does not want to leave me behind. I'll be convalescing all the same.

Tldr; send me your stories on how you have survived through such things.