[PI] While on an interdimensional quest to fuck every version of his girlfriend in the multiverse, Jake finds the saddest version of his girlfriend and tries to cheer her up.

Inspired by a prompt from u/secondarysamuelNSFW!

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Ever since Jake’s scientist girlfriend, Connie, had invented a device that allowed its user to teleport between parallel universes — and had then had the idea for Jake to travel through the multiverse and seduce every version of her he could find — he’d been on a rampage.

A rampage of loooooove.

Since he’d been writing down the steamy details of each encounter in a journal — something about the Multiversal Transporter (name and patent pending) caused any technology more complex than a wristwatch to fry whilst in transit, so he hadn’t been able to bring a camcorder as he’d originally intended — Jake had had to come up with quick names for each Connie he’d banged. And so there had been Gymnast Connie, who had flipped off of his hips when he came and then posed as if she’d just completed an Olympic routine while his jism ran down her thigh; Cyborg Connie, the leader of the anti-android resistance on a doomed Earth who’d edged him with her pistoning robo-pussy; and even Clown Connie, whose round, red nose had honked each time she deepthroated his throbbing cock. As Jake kissed his Connie — who he’d taken to calling Connie-Connie in his head — goodbye before strolling through a portal to yet another random parallel universe, he idly wondered what fantastical version of his girlfriend he’d come across this time…

… only to arrive at a near-empty bar where a dark-haired woman sat, quietly crying, on a barstool.

“Um, excuse me — miss?” said Jake, stepping tentatively toward the stranger as the portal closed behind him. “Are you all ri— oh!”

The woman turned toward him, and Jake realized with a start that it was, in fact, this universe’s version of Connie — her almond-shaped eyes puffy, her pink lips trembling, but unmistakably her. “Oh — um, I’m f-fine,” she hiccuped, and then she turned back toward the bartop, reaching out to moodily swish the half-melted ice cube around in her empty rocks glass. “I just — y’know — got stood up. Again.”

Jake paused, wondering if he ought to just leave and find a Connie that was, frankly, cheerier — but something compelled him to walk over and sit next to her instead. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, gently. “The dating life’s rough, y’know?”

“Ohhh, I know,” half-laughed Sad Connie — Jake decided he’d try to think of a better name for her later. “I’ve been on the market for two years. One date and they’re outta here — if they show up at all. I just feel like—” Sad Connie’s breath caught in her throat, and Jake saw a fresh tear rolling down her cheek. “I just feel like I’m never going to settle down with anyone. I’m gonna die an old spinster like my Great Aunt Judy!” And then she started crying again in earnest, the strap of her black cocktail dress slipping down one shoulder as her chest heaved.

Jake knew there was a risk of getting a bad reaction — after all, while he knew Connie and her other selves quite intimately, Sad Connie had apparently never met him — but he simply couldn’t stand seeing her so miserable, and so he reached up to rub her back in what he hoped would be a soothing way. “Look, um — I know this isn’t information you’re really going to want right now, but I’m only here for one night.”

“Fucking figures,” sighed Sad Connie as she rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands.

“But you are going to meet someone who’s just right for you one day,” Jake continued, signaling for the scruffy bartender to refill Sad Connie’s glass and then running his fingers through his own short, brown hair. “There’s eight billion people on this planet! Just because you’ve had a few bad dates—”

“Thirty-six,” grumbled Sad Connie.

“—thirty-six bad dates,” Jake plowed on, wincing a bit when Sad Connie wasn’t looking, “doesn’t mean it’s hopeless — it just means you haven’t found The One, y’know?”

“I — yeah. You’re right. You’re right! It’s just a numbers game. I know numbers,” Sad Connie replied, nodding.

“Boy, do you,” muttered Jake, thinking of the complex equations Connie-Connie had had to write while she designed the Multiversal Transporter.

“Huh?”

“Oh, uh — nothing.” Jake gave Sad Connie’s shoulder a squeeze, fixed the strap of her dress, and then clasped his hands in front of him on the bartop. “Anyway — I just know there’s a guy out there just for you. Believe me, I’ve seen it over and over again. Y’know — with other girls.”

“… Thank you,” said Sad Connie, after a contemplative pause. “Shame you can’t stick around — this is the nicest a guy’s been to me in ages.”

“Nah — just here for the evening. Uh, business trip. Sorry,” Jake replied.

And then Sad Connie sat back a bit on her barstool, looked Jake up and down, frowned thoughtfully, and said, “Can I suck your dick?”

---

Jake groaned, his back arching against the wall of the dimly-lit hallway just outside of the bar as Sad Connie took his length base-deep into her mouth yet again. She had managed to sink into a graceful squat in spite of the steep high heels she was wearing, and was holding Jake’s hip to keep herself steady with one hand and cupping his balls with the other as she rubbed her tongue along the bottom of his shaft, her green eyes looking directly into his own all the while.

“Jesus,” Jake gasped, his hands balling into fists and his toes curling in his polished black shoes as Sad Connie pulled almost all the way back to massage his cockhead with her lips. “H-Haven’t lost a step, huh?”

“Nn-mm,” was Sad Connie’s muffled reply, and then she began bobbing her head back and forth, Jake’s tip prodding gently against the back of her throat each time she swallowed his dick completely.

“Ffffuck…!” Jake’s leg twitched involuntarily as a pleasant shudder ran up his spine, and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from coming then and there. “Uhm — I-I’m close,” he whimpered, breathlessly.

Sad Connie pulled back again, letting Jake’s cock slip from her mouth with a soft pop! “Fuck me,” she purred, and she stood, turned, and braced her hands against the wall opposite, wiggling her ass so that the skirt of her dress swished back and forth.

“You sure?” But Jake was already lifting Sad Connie’s dress and tugging her red thong to one side, exposing her dripping sex.

“It’s been two years,” she replied, and she reached back with one hand, grabbed the base of Jake’s shaft, and pressed it against her pussy. “I need your dick.”

Jake didn’t need telling twice: he placed his hands on Sad Connie’s shoulders and then thrust forward, spearing inside of her until his hips clapped against her ass. “You good?” he asked, huskily, as Sad Connie groaned and shivered.

“Oh, fuck yeah, I’m good,” she agreed, her hair spilling messily from its updo as she vigorously nodded her head. “Do me…!”

Jake glanced left and right — though of course, if someone else was coming down the hallway, he wouldn’t even have time to pull out, much less pull his pants up — and then started bucking his hips forward in earnest, the couple groaning together each time he sank balls-deep into Sad Connie’s sex. “Fuck, you’re tight,” Jake grunted, leaning forward so that he could nibble at Sad Connie’s ear as he pounded her.

“Wh, What a two-year dry spell will do to a motherfu—” Sad Connie began, but then she hissed out a delighted breath and pressed back against Jake as he slipped a hand beneath the neckline of her dress and pinched and rolled her nipple in just the way he knew she liked. “You’re so fucking good,” she moaned, turning her head to look over her shoulder at Jake. “I’m, uhm — I’m already gonna come…!”

“Can I kiss you?” asked Jake, and after Sad Connie vigorously nodded, he leaned in, pressed his lips aggressively to hers, and bit her lower lip possessively as she climaxed, her legs shaking and her breaths coming out as moans and squeals. Jake let himself go soon afterward, pushing in as deeply as he could and then flooding Sad Connie’s velvety inner channel with his heat. “That was — uh — sorry — was that safe to—?” he babbled as he stumbled backward to lean back against the other wall, panting for breath.

“It was safe,” nodded Sad Connie, breathing just as heavily. “Just because I, whew!, wasn’t getting any action didn’t mean… fuck… that I wasn’t holding out for a quickie, y’know?” She turned toward Jake as she fixed her underwear and smoothed out her dress. “I should go get cleaned up… You really can’t stay?” she added, a hopeful gleam in her lust-glazed eyes.

“Nah — gotta get back,” said Jake, as he tucked his softening shaft back into his boxers and hitched his jeans back up. “But listen — all that stuff I said — I wasn’t just trying to pick up on you. I really mean it. You’re smart, funny, hot — and there’s a guy out there who will appreciate all of that. Just gotta find him.”

Sad Connie sighed softly. “I already did,” she murmured, and she leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Jake’s lips. “Thanks for my first good night in awhile.” And then, as she made her way to the bathroom, Jake fished the Multiversal Transporter — which looked rather like a small, silver TV remote — out of his pocket and turned it on.

---

“So, what do you think?” asked Connie-Connie — hereafter referred to as ‘Connie’ — several months later, as Jake contemplatively chewed on a spoonful of the new chicken rice recipe she’d made for dinner. “Jake? Hellooooo — Earth to Jake?”

“Huh? Oh — sorry,” said Jake, thickly, and then he swallowed his food, wiped his mouth, and added, “I like it! The rice is very, y’know. Ricey.”

“Ricey?” smirked Connie, arching a perfectly-plucked brow — and then she sighed. “Sad Connie really did a number on you, huh?”

“Look — it’s really not like that, honest,” said Jake, and he stood up from his seat at the kitchen table, walked over to Connie, and kissed the top of her head. “You’re the only Connie for me. I just — I dunno. Hope she’s doing okay, I guess. I didn’t like seeing you — her? You? — so, well. Sad. Y’know?”

“Well,” shrugged Connie, “the ‘random’ function of the Transporter really is random, so short of visiting n + 1 parallel universes until we find her, there’s really no way to be s—”

There was a sound like TV static as a tear in reality opened itself before them. Just beyond it, Jake thought he could see a cityscape and a familiar, dingy cocktail bar — and then another Connie stepped through. A Connie in a black cocktail dress, holding a Multiversal Transporter in her hand.

“Sad Connie!” exclaimed Jake, excitedly — and then he winced. “Er, that is…”

“‘Sad Connie’? Really?” she snorted — fortunately, she seemed to take her nickname in good humor. “Guess I was pretty sad that day.”

“Sorry. I — wow. I never thought I’d see you again! You look, well. Better.”

“What can I say?” Sad Connie replied. “Getting absolutely plowed by a total stud did wonders for my motivation to make this thing.” She twirled the Transporter between two fingers.

“You made a Multiversal Transporter?” marveled Connie, standing up to peer at the device. “I thought I was the only one who — oh, also, hi, I’m Connie.”

“I know,” said Sad Connie. “On account of, y’know.” She gestured up and down at Connie, and then at her own, identical figure. “Anyways, after I started tinkering with the Transporter — we’ve gotta figure out a new name for this thing, by the way—”

“We do,” sighed Connie.

“—I thought about my night with Jake and sorta put two and two together.”

“Well, it’s great to see you again,” Jake replied, grinning over at Sad Connie. “Do you wanna stay for dinner? Connie — er, y’know — this universe’s Connie — made enough chicken rice to feed a small army.”

Sad Connie looked to the steaming rice cooker on the counter of the apartment’s kitchenette — and then to the half-ajar door to Jake’s and Connie’s bedroom. “Actually,” she purred, a sly smirk curling her lips, “I just had a better idea.”

---

“Fuck,” gasped Jake, “this is crazy…!”

He was kneeling on his and Connie’s queen-size mattress, where opposite him, Connie and Sad Connie were on their hands and knees, the former licking his rigid shaft from base to tip while the latter suckled greedily on his cockhead. “Mmhm,” was Sad Connie’s muffled reply — thank goodness her hair was up again, while Connie’s was down, or he wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference! — and then, after a few more moments of sucking, she let his crown pop free of her mouth, a silvery strand of spit bridging her lower lip to his tip. “Hey, if I kissed other-Connie, would that be more like incest or masturbation?”

“Masturbation,” said Jake and Connie, together — and then Sad Connie turned and pressed her lips to her multiversal counterpart’s, who purred into her other self’s mouth in turn.

“Wow, that’s wild,” gasped Connie, after the two girls broke apart. “I’ve never — uh — pressed my lips to my own lips before. For, y’know. Obvious reasons.”

“So, who’s getting that dick, hmm?” asked Sad Connie, and she turned, raised her hips into the air, and swayed her ass back and forth.

“Wish I had two of ‘em,” half-moaned Jake, looking from Sad Connie’s ass, to Connie’s playfully-pouting face, and then back again.

“We could start the Transporter up and go find another Jake,” suggested Sad Connie.

“… Nah, it’s fine,” Connie finally said, shrugging her shoulders so that her breasts squished pleasantly together. “He fucked me when we woke up this morning, but you haven’t had him for ages.”

Jake scooted forward, pressing his tip against Sad Connie’s petals, but then the woman shook her head. “Nuh-uh — other one,” she said, and she reached back to spread her right rear cheek with one hand, exposing her tight, pink pucker.

“What—?” Jake replied, blinking in surprise. “But you don’t — I mean, Connie — this world’s Connie doesn’t like—”

“I mean, there’s gotta be at least one difference between us, right?” Sad Connie grinned. “Now, c’mon…!”

As Jake braced his crown against Sad Connie’s rosebud, Connie slipped beneath the other woman so that they were face to face. Now straddling Connie’s hips, Sad Connie braced her hands against her counterpart’s shoulders — and gasped and groaned as Jake started to slip, slowly and carefully, into her ass. “You really like that, huh?” teased Connie, reaching up to tweak one of Sad Connie’s nipples.

“You… You don’t?” Sad Connie marveled, but before Connie could reply, the two were kissing again, Connie’s hands roaming all over Sad Connie’s torso and between her thighs as Jake’s hips started to clap rhythmically against Sad Connie’s ass.

Jake reached forward to gently, but firmly, grasp a handful of Sad Connie’s hair, his other hand coming to rest on the woman’s shoulder as his thrusts quickened. Sad Connie moaned into her double’s mouth, and Connie giggled throatily in turn, seemingly delighted to see that the other woman was enjoying herself so much. Finally, after a couple of minutes, Sad Connie broke her and Connie’s kiss and groaned, “I-I’m close!”

“You want it inside?” panted Jake, who was nearing a climax, himself.

“Cover me,” replied Sad Connie — but then she added, raggedly, “No — cover us,” and she juked her hips to cause Jake’s shaft to slip free of her and then rolled onto her back next to Connie. Jake reached down, feverishly stroked his cock for a few seconds more — and then groaned as rope after rope after rope of his passion shot in sticky strands from his shaft and splashed against both girls’ tummies, chests, and faces.

“Jeez,” breathed Connie, as Sad Connie shuddered and shivered her way through an orgasm of her own. “Second time today and you still had that much in the tank?”

“What can I say,” gasped Jake, sitting back so that his butt rested against his heels. “I love my ladies.”

Sad Connie’s face flushed. “Oh — uh, right,” she mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. “I guess I should get cleaned up and leave you two to your life of domestic bliss.”

“Actually — you could always… stay over?” suggested Jake, looking to Connie for approval.

Connie grinned. “Anytime you want,” she agreed, and Sad Connie looked so happy that Jake decided that he really would have to change her nickname.