Help me please, I have no idea what to do

I’ve been with my now husband for 10 years, married for 2. The 3rd year in I found out he had a secret sc account and was messaging/ sending photos for 8 months. I’ve never been so heartbroken at the time. We broke up, I went out and tried to fix my broken heart with other attention.
We eventually reconciled and then 5 years in he had a physical affair with someone from his work. 4 times. I can still remember this man wouldn’t even brush his teeth before bed and he was having full blown showers etc.. before work (night shift). Obviously to meet up with this chick. It was so messy when I found out but in the end he brought it back to my behaviour when we were separated. We once again reconciled and I was pretty much told to never speak of it again. Anytime I’d bring it up he would say “we have decided to move on, so we are moving on”. We eventually got engaged after buying a house. Married 2 years ago. Now I’m at a point in my life where I’m so unsure of my choices. He wants kids and my body is just telling me this ISN’T what I want. I want kinds but I think my body is telling me not with him. I feel like I’m going crazy and I have no reason to be still upset and trying to deal with these unresolved emotions. I feel like i can’t be upset over this anymore because we have made the choice to move on and got married etc.. but i think ive grown to be resentful and fallen out of love. Am i crazy?