Is it really bad timing, an avoidant attchment style, or did I just fumble?

Met a really great girl around 2 months ago. Amazing chemistry, lots of shared interactions and effort. She had a summer school trip planned for a month that was looming and she didnt want there to really be anything hanging over her for it. Ive been pretty communicative with what I want and my feelings, which are that I liked her and was looking for a relationship with someone, and though I felt like i those convos were not received super well, the effort would still continue and there'd still be reciprocation and even reassurance that she really liked me and it was confusing her. Que the weekend before she leaves. I asked her at the beginning of the week if she wanted to pump the breaks, which was met with a sorta wishy washy response but then a reassurance that she enjoyed my time and that she was kinda mad at me for confusing her so much before her big trip. She would initiate and I would call her, and the convo quality was still exciting and good. I even sent her some snacks mid week to be nice during her period. On friday she asks me if I wanted to get food together, but rehashes the plan for sunday and stonewalled my attempt to hang in the evening. I went out and couldnt reply to texts until the next day, but when I did All of a sudden theres a lot of dry texting, and when we met up in person with her friends, she acted like a distant stranger/almost ex gf like. She still did some small things to engage but it was definitely slightly awkward. Shes also been somewhat dry when we do group calls and seems to enjoy the others company and banter a lot more than mine. This has really thrown me for a loop as just last week things seemed relatively fine. Ive tried to engage and it was somewhat better the other day, which prompted me to ask if I could call. She actually hmu abt it and I asked to see her before she left, and she seemed down if her stuff could get done. She then told me she wouldnt be able to, but got her stuff done by the end of the night.

She's a little bit younger (early 20s) and I'm mid (20s) so I get there may just be a difference in life goals and aspirations at play, as well as a wish to just enjoy the summer trip. I still do sorta feel taken back by the recent switch to dryness and distance, which is all the more confusing cuz there is still consistent response and occassional initiation.

Would you guys think this is just bad timing, avoidant attachment, fading interest, or any combo of the above? Some of my friends think she could legitimately just be reeling from more intense feelings than bargained for and so may be trying to pumo emergency breaks, but Im not so sure anymore.

Posted Jul 8, 2026, 12:05 PM UTC

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