I don’t know how to keep living

I recently lost my job I tried so hard for all because getting up in the morning is so fucking hard. I’m a cabinet maker and I really wanted this job, it was a great place who look out for their employees and I fucking ruined it. Didn’t message them or let them know I wasn’t coming in because I was afraid of what they will say. I’m tired of waking up and want nothing more than to kill myself but everytime I think of doing it I just cannot go through with it, which doesn’t make sense cos I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to wake up and I don’t want to go to work nor do I want to keep living unemployed. I’m just so tired of everything.