Boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex anymore?

Me and my bf have been together for year now and we have had sex I’d say 4 times three of those he has fucked me I was the bottom but we both didn’t like that and we decided I’d top after I topped once also we didn’t get the whole thing in it was to thick and it hurt him to much we sideline foreplay all that we did everything correctly took it slow but afterwards he said he didn’t wanna do it again I am respecting that as I obviously would but then he said he might want to again one day. He then today said that he never wants to again like firmly idk what to do I love him but I am a very sexual person I would also just say we give eachother head handjobs etc just not sex I want to have sex quite frequently really and it’s not just about the feel although I’d like to know what it does feel like as he is my first and I’m not a virgin technically but it’s also about being close with someone like that any advice?