How to get “over the hump”

I’ve been on HRT for about 4 years now. Currently pre-op and have been struggling for years on being able to properly finish when masturbating and I have literally only finished once from sex since I started HRT.

I know headspace and vibe is a lot more important now then it used to be, but I can’t help but feel I’m doing something wrong or not doing something I should be doing. I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit of a nympho before HRT, and since I started I have *literally only gotten hornier* and the frustration is just so immense at this point.

When I masturbate, I can usually eke out a quick, low intensity orgasm in a few minutes if I’m rushing. When I take my time, it usually takes around 40 minutes and it’s kind of a mid orgasm. Like it lasts just a few seconds longer than my preHRT orgasm but is not nearly as powerful as my preHRT orgasm.

When I have sex, everything feels good but nothing really gets me there. Nipple play is really enjoyable but it just makes me get the urge to be penetrated, but then when I am penetrated (which also feels really good) it really just feels like it’s missing “the spot” no matter the angle, girth, or length.

The most frustrating thing with sex is that during a good session, I often get the feeling like I’m about to cum and then it goes away. I was a power bottom preHRT and would cum handsfree a lot and it feels like right before I’d cum handsfree while bottoming, but it never pushes over the edge. The last time this happened I was riding my husband and just kept going with what felt good and it built and built and then just went away. I ended up just finishing myself with a vibrator while he did some nipple play, which was a mid orgasm like I detailed above.

Any advice on how to get me over the edge, or just general tips on how to make masturbation and sex more enjoyable? Because this has been really frustrating and HRT literally got rid of my depression and has made me feel so much more like myself but I just feel like it absolutely ruined my sex life.

TLDR: I have mid orgasms and get close but can’t finish during sex and am looking for advice on how to get over the hill to finish and how to make sex and masturbation more enjoyable.