At my wits end

I’m really looking for some constructive advice please !!!! Feeding is SUCH a struggle I’m so tired of it. My 40 week full term baby was born no complications no issues, latched right away, but it was very painful, I ignored the pain as everyone told me it was “normal” and it would go away the more they latch. Silly me, I kept trying and trying.

Around a month I finally went to a lactation consultant who told me she had a tongue tie. I personally never knew that could be an issue, I thought we all had tongue ties (lol) out of desperation, pain, and hope I had her tongue tie and lip tie removed at exactly 2 months and baby has not been the same at drinking as she was before.

I no longer have the desire to breastfeed as the anxiety of her not getting enough calories post procedure really messed me up mentally, so I have been exclusively pumping and latching here and there to soothe. The pain via latch has gotten better but feeding baby has been so insanely time consuming, frustrating- just everything feels overwhelming.

My postpartum anxiety is at an all time high. She’s 3 months now and it is a fight daily to try to make sure she gets at least the recommended oz per day. She was born 7lb 2oz so she was not a huge baby, average at best, she’s a petite girl. Her doctor said her weight gain is slow on the growth curve and it made me spiral even more- she’s gaining but not fast enough.

From my research I noticed a lot of 12-13 week old babies have this issue where they struggle to want to eat, they turn away etc . I’ve told my pediatrician these before and she just gives new formula to try and I don’t want new formulas to try I want answers!

We use pigeon bottles with S (2) nipples. Before procedure we also used philips advent and she took both wonderfully, post procedure she preferred pigeon. Post procedure we tried Dr.Brown narrow, Boon Nursh, Avent colic, and tommie tippie. She didn’t care for any of them except the tommie tippie slightly.

Here are some things I’ve noticed:
-Wants to eat but turns away with bottle in her mouth - we have been trying to pace feed due to this preference
-Plays with the bottle in her mouth, moves her tongue around constantly
- Pops on and off the bottle (thinking the flowing too fast but have tried slower (SS) and faster(M)
-Crunches her belly when drinking sometimes (I’m leaning towards reflux now)
-Recently started spitting up more after feeds
-Her poops have been always been yellow and watery but here and there green poops with mucus have made an appearance (doctor isn’t alarmed but told us to try Nutramigen formula and cut dairy for 2 weeks- which we just started today)
-She doesn’t cry at bottle, or before bottle

We also just started OT and feeding therapy this week as we were finally able to secure an appointment. The oral surgeon that performed the procedure says it sounds like reflux.

Please any advice, any experiences, any hopeful stories?