How can I stop my family from falling apart over me being trans?

I’m going to try to reveal as little personal information as possible, so if things are a little bit vague, that’s why.

I’m a transfem upperclassman in high school who’s been out to select people for little over a year. My mom took it poorly at first, but has since come around more. As I explained it to her, ”I‘m not sure that transitioning will make my life bearable, but if the choice is between being miserable my whole life and a chance of not being miserable, I’m going to take the chance.” Everyone I’ve come out to is accepting, even my crazy aunt that almost worships Trump’s policies.

Except my dad. When I tried coming out to him, that night, he had a nervous breakdown and said that he’d failed as a father and didn’t want to be alive anymore. It might be manipulative, but I don’t think it was intentional. He genuinely felt that way. I know, because he’s not a good enough actor to fake that reaction. Since then, everything has just been back to normal and we’ve been pretending nothing happened l

So now we’re in a pickle. Part of me wants to just cut and run once I turn eighteen, but I genuinely love him, and so does my mom, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin our family or force her to take sides. He’s a great person otherwise: kind, caring, generous. He hates Trump. But he also refuses to accept trans people.

So my question is this: how do I avoid tearing my family apart.