Fed up

I am deeply addicted to porn and I can't stop it.

I have watched so many yt videos blogs newsletter and what not to stop this but i always fail

It's been 10+ yrs . I try to quit then i relapse then again after sometime I try to quit relapse happens.

It has gone so bad i see content and get triggered because of it .The next thing is Chrome or any porn sites.but cant seem to stop myself. I go to the gym everyday and it's still not helping me to keep my mindset strong. Even if i talk to a girl i automatically ends up having sexual feelings for them despite not being attached to them. I have been out of sex for quite a long time now

And all i think about is having sex. And when that wish doesn't complete i turn to porn.

This lustful loop has fried my brain to a large extent where I can't think rationally . I get frustrated and angry easily.

It's so bad if i fail to solve a question or lose a mobile game or just be angry with someone i end up masturbating just to feel relaxed. I don't masturbate continuously but the urge kicks in frequently without a large break . 3-4 times has become a daily routine and i feel disgusted after every round, still i do it

I have lost interest in life no hobby no passion no entertainment everything seems bland and useless except this .

I wanna change myself for the better. I often have this thought that i have abused my organ and could end up in Pme or Ed

And feels anxious that when the time to perform arrives again i wouldn't be able to do so I just can't stop doing it.

It is hampering every aspect of my life i need serious help to overcome this . I want to build a strong connection with people mentally emotionally and sexually. And I don't know if u have ruined my dick with this much abuse or i am worrying too much.

But yes this is me as of now asking for help who has suffered a lot and did better

Please comment your views and solid advice

As of now my brain is out of my hand and my brain has my hand.