Healing after a big fight

Long story short: I got into a fight with some people over Minecraft, I got mad, they got mad, they kicked me out of their group and told me never to talk to them again.

I made a post about it and people told me to reflect on it. I had a lot of self hatred towards myself at that time and I couldn’t reflect on it (I really needed a mental health break) and I got mad at the comment section and deleted my old Reddit profile.

Now that I have at least semi moved on. I have reflected at decided to just move on and not care that much. The more I think about what happened the more I hate myself and the more I hate myself the worse I am for the people who are still by my side.

So even though I have severe self hatred and guilt. I have decided I have to move on or I will just end up pushing anyone I have left.