Toxic mother?

I work in education, and we're currently on summer break, so I came back to my parents' house for a few days to hang out with some old friends in my hometown. But I'm already regretting it.

For context, I'm in my early 30s, CF, female, and single.

I was just chilling in my room when my mother came home, so I went to the kitchen to say hello. I had my headphones on, was listening to music, dancing around and just being silly when she saw me.

Well... all hell broke loose.

She looked at me with complete disapproval and said, "Look at this 40-year-old old maid dancing around when she should be married with ten children by now!"

I replied that whether I'm in my 40s or even my 80s, I'll still be dancing and living my life.

The argument continued, with her telling me that I'll regret not getting married while I "still have time," that I'll end up alone with no one by my side, that I would be chasing around my old friends, cousins, and brother, hoping someone would have time for me while all have their own families, and that some distant aunt of mine (let's call her X), who never married or had children, regretted it. In all of this she used some insulting, outdated slang for unmarried women.

I told her she was projecting and making assumptions. She should let people speak for themselves. I've never once heard this aunt say she regretted her life, and the next time I see her, I'll ask her myself. But even if she does regret her choices, I'm not her. I'm perfectly fine with mine, and I'm prepared to accept the consequences of them.

I also told my mother that she seems strangely invested in other people's life choices, and maybe that's because she regrets getting married and having children herself. I added that I couldn't believe someone with a university education could hold such narrow-minded views.

Anyway, I'm really upset.

She's always been like this. She saw me happy, carefree, and enjoying myself, and that was the first thing she chose to say to me.

She raised me to be a people-pleaser—scared, spineless, and dependent on her instead of standing on my own two feet. Even now, a part of me is afraid that one day I'll eventually give in to all this pressure, even though I know this isn't the life I want.

Sorry for any mistakes—English isn't my first language.