Coward

For a month I actually felt love in my heart, I listened to my soul, my intuition and it was good. I knew it wouldn't last when I began to spend every waking moment thinking of her. Now it's gone, now I don't even feel joy while writing.

Im paranoid from seeing signs and synchronicities, there is no way any of that is real. I really did delude myself into thinking there could be something between us.

I have had about 9 hours of sleep this week, my head hurts and it's too hot. I wish I could be angry at myself for not doing enough, for never thinking of the right words. I never called you beautiful, everyone used it to describe you, i wanted something more but I think my time is up, I don't want to do this anymore.

I'm almost there.

I'll be gone soon.