Make me laugh with your funniest bastos jokes.

I'm feeling pretty down today, r/Philippines, and I could really use a good laugh to get my mind off things. So hit me with your funniest green jokes, bastos jokes, or the most hilariously naughty stories you've ever heard or experienced. The kind that had you laughing so hard you couldn't breathe or made you wonder who even came up with it. Nothing's off the table as long as it's funny. I just want to spend the day reading the comments and hopefully laugh myself into a better mood. Thanks in advance, and don't hold back!