Condemned to Consciousness

The tragedy of humanity lies in its awareness that it is the only being that does not merely exist, but contemplates the meaning of existence itself. Humans do not passively experience events, but carry them within their consciousness, reshape them in their memory, and use them to measure their identity, present, and future. Pain intensifies with remembrance, fear is renewed with anticipation, and anxiety becomes a constant companion. This is because humans know what they do not want to know and understand what they cannot change.
They are aware of their weakness and mortality, the injustice and contradictions of the world, and the chasm between what ought to be and what is. They live torn between their consciousness and their desires, between their intellect and their reality. When they err, they do not simply accept the mistake, but flagellate themselves with regret. When they fail, they do not forget, but revisit the details of their failure time and again. When they rejoice, they are not content, for their awareness tells them that joy is fleeting and that loss is imminent, thus robbing the moment of its purity before it is fully realized. When they love, they are aware of the possibility of loss; when they succeed, they are aware of the possibility of failure; and when they aspire, they are aware of the limits of their abilities.
Thus, awareness becomes a heavy burden, dragging behind it an endless series of questions: Why am I here? Why is this happening? Why can't I be as I wish? Humans do not suffer from reality alone; their humanity stems not only from their awareness of it, but also from their understanding of its meaning, effects, and consequences. Yet, this very tragedy is what forges their humanity, for awareness, despite its harshness, is what grants them the capacity for empathy, thought, creativity, and choice. If they did not perceive, they would not suffer; if they did not suffer, they would not understand; and if they did not understand, they would not be human.