It’s unrealistic that Tony never hit Carmela or AJ

The show bashes us over the head with how little impulse control Tony has, he was raised in the same environment as every other one of these guys, and there are no rules about not hitting your wife or kids. It really doesn’t make sense that Tony never once hit Carmela, not even in the heat of the moment when he’s about to then punches through the drywall instead. This is a guy with so little control that he beat a made guy to death over a horse (among other things) a few episodes later he’s going to have the discipline to stop himself when his wife tells him she wanted to fuck one of his underlings?

Obviously, it’s because no matter how charismatic Gandolfini was, there would be no way audiences would like him after he beat his wife, but it still rings very unrealistic to me. Same with AJ, we see one slap over the course of like ten years of AJ being a little bitch and a smartass, there’s no chance Tony wouldn’t have tuned him up more often.