scars triggering me during the heat

i usually run pretty hot, but my recent relapse prevents me from wearing cooler clothes. my family would notice. even then.. looking at myself, my existence disgusting me. all of this ugliness i gave to my perfectly good skin. i don't know if ill be able to wear cool clothes ever again. at least not until next year.
but what about when im alone? should i just put bandaids over my scars? how do you handle looking at old/fresh scars without being scared or triggered?
ive been doing really badly, and looking at how my recent relapse healed made me scared as all hell. i realized i cant wear the clothes i want and its all my fault for being like this. i always think it will be different and i always regret it.