Being a control freak

That is what I have started feeling that I am. Started having some months ago when I had a fight with my husband about going out every weekend with his genz female colleagues and staying with them late nights but not having the urge to spend more than maybe one or two hours with me. He told me that we do not vibe on common music, have no common interests (he like F1, I dont follow sports), no common drinking habits (I do not drink while he is a clubbing person) and he said he had stopped enjoying time with me. Also, I had stopped having urges of physical intimacy because he resumed his smoking habit that I have despised since Day 1 (we have been together for 8 years)

He has been trying to make deliberate efforts in trying to spend time with me after this. However, some time back I caught him trying to flirt with some woman and it made me even more insecure. He was apologetic about this and promised he would never do it again.

For some reason, I started having problems when he started spending time with his colleagues every Saturday night and would come home at 5am drunk. We had a huge fight and he made me realize that I cannot control his personal life when he is having fun with his friends. I realised my stupidity and promised I would not do this again.

Today, I lashed out at him when we went for a short drive at night after a tiring day and he picked his phone to respond to msgs. He is a person who will always respond to msgs or calls even when we are talking or are out during dinners or drives. I have started to feel extremely insecure that he gets so bored about what I am saying that I think he waits for me to finish the topic so he can text his friends who actually vibe with him. I feel like a vile person and he is right in calling me a control freak today.

I am feeling extremely disgusted about myself and I am crying in the bathroom while typing this. I was a very free spirited person who would never care about most things in the world. But this is really hurting me and is affecting my marriage.

I would really need to know what I can do to better myself and this marriage.

TL;DR: My marriage has gradually left me feeling deeply insecure. Months ago, my husband told me he no longer enjoyed spending time with me because we don't share the same interests or lifestyle, while he preferred going out late every weekend with his colleagues. Although he later made more effort, I also caught him flirting with another woman, which further damaged my trust. Since then, I've become increasingly anxious about his social life and even small things, like him constantly texting during our time together - make me feel ignored and unimportant. I know my reactions are hurting our marriage, and I don't like the person I've become. I want to understand how to rebuild my confidence, stop reacting this way, and improve our relationship.