ECT/Ketamine/TMS or psychadelics?

Hey everyone.

Been pretty unstable for about a year now (mostly mixed episodes, yay). Meds do not work on me.

I finally have an intake/evaluation/consultation for ECT and the other ones. But I just came back from the Pacific NW and am wondering about psychedelics and if anyone has any wisdom to share?

I think I would rather do a guided psychedelic retreat that has had success with bipolar 2. So thought maybe there would some insight here. I want to go somewhere its legal and I can talk about it with a guide and/or doctor who knows what they're talking about. If you have any leads, please let me know, ideally in the US, but I would travel.

And flip side - how did you feel about ECT specifically? I'm nervous about it, but I think it's my best shot, but then I think it will push me into full mania.... if I even qualify. I went for a ketamine evaluation a few years ago and "wasn't depressed enough."

Anyway, thank you for your time.