Who's the one that should text the other?

Hi friends. That's a bit long and not very easy so take your time.

19 yo here. Talking abt female long distance friendship with 20yo girl.

Been friends with her since around 2 years.

We started being close quickly, we shared our addresses and started sending letters and gifts to each other. Me in Italy and her in Germany. She's someone that never judge, always listen and try to help, I'm the same, according to her words.

Since I used to be a very childish girl, I did many stupid online. So what happend with her is that I made her follow an account of a guy I liked, that left me. She would send me his posts and stories some times, most of the time I would ask for it. She helped me when I used to use tinder, and met horrible boys. She helped me trying to get back with another friend met in the same server me and this 20yo friend met. She helped me, always. And these things I said, are quite weird.

I get attached that's for sure, but I used to do it in the wrong way. Since I've always been low key lonely, internet was my life basc. So I started to be quite exaggerated with friends online. I'm fixing that part of me.

So, December 2025, we meet. I go to Germany for the first time and she picks me up at the airport. I've planned to meet her since June of the same year.

Before meeting I prepared 3 gifts for her. 1 abt Italian food, one ring with a gem from her original country (she's from South/centralAsia), a drawing related to her country. She gave me a dress, plus when we met we bought the same plushie to symbolise our friendship I guess. Oh and at her birthday I bought her a cover for her phone, related to her country again, and as I said we shared letters to each other. She did game me multiple stuff, like a bullet journal during my birthday in October.

So when we met we were both so happy. I remember her call with my dad saying in German that of course she's happy I came. So our meeting went fine even though there's some things I regret bc I would look quite attached and wanting many hugs, which she didn't want to.

I've been there 2 days then went back to Italy. Then, during January, she started totally ignoring my messages. after a month, the day after I contacted some her followers bc I was really worried, since I've discovered she was only ignoring me and was active on social media, she wrote me, saying she came to the conclusion she no longer wants contacts with me, saying she's a bad friend, and to not contact her anymore. As soon as I read the message I started crying. And I replied saying I want reasons of why she's leaving me. She didn't give me responds. So, here I did the, probably, craziest thing I did for someone. I took a Flixbus, and went at her place. When I was just sitting in the Flixbus, she sent me the money I spent to meet her back in December. I sent them back, I was really disappointed. At that moment i showed her I was going to her place. Of course she said don't. Then she told me the reasons she left me. Which are the things I used to do online, that I said in the beginning.

I Knocked at her home, she was totally shocked. She was almost whispering, saying "what the fuck are you doing here". I explained and said I'm sorry, I'm built like that. But please don't leave me. And at some point she said I came there bc I'm obsessed. That has made me realize many things during the past few months. I come back to Italy the day after. I wasn't even able to explore the main city again. I felt like shi bc I was coming back to Italy with no money, no job, and now no friends. I used to have a friend from Italy, always distant tho, but we're not friends anymore.

The morning I was boutta leave she texted me abt what I did. Saying I'm very stubborn, I think like a kid, stuff like this, that if it wasn't for me going to her home, I would not have create such drama. The worst thing she wrote is "you cannot accept a no, like a r*pist".

I'd like to know by you people what do you think.

What also broke me a lot is her saying she wanted to end this in October already, which is when she sent some gifts for me at my birthday. That's strange.

She did showed off interests in me even when we met. I remember she came like 3 hours late at the airport, she even got lost. (Frankfurt Main airport). As soon as we saw each other, she had a big smile on her face, and said :" come on, don't be shy" as he stroked my arm.

And she showed interests and caring abt me many other times, by words also. And I don't think this is some behavior a person would do while thinking of leaving the other. Why still buy things to remember the friendship (that plushie) if you wanna leave that person.

Why not trying to make me understand my mistakes, like she would do.

Just why.

I do know that all of you r thinking I was just an obsessed friend. Cannot lie.

I have always been honest with her. So she totally know how I am.

I've never insulted her when she would say no to help me out my stupid stuff.

Sometimes she would even say:" I'm with you" when I would create dramas online.

I don't know.

0% of me thinks she has lied in any moment of our friendship.

I got so many questions.

From that moment I have really improved, by learning by my mistakes and Analyse them. Now I know almost 100% of my mistakes and what I would do know instead. Or simply not do.

I'm totally down to keep the friendship with her.

Should I text her in some ways?

Or I shouid wait for her. Maybe when she will have a conversation abt me with someone or a thought. What I think is that in the moment she will forget me I'm here. I'm always myself, same soul, it's just me growing up now.

What do you think people? Write anything, I don't care about how much insults or bad things I'll read.

I just kindly ask for advice.

Oh and I'm blocked everywhere. I only changed number since I'm currently working in Germany.

Thank you for reading till the end.